When online platform building was a fledgling art form, Mark Driscoll was a pioneer. He hired a couple of talented young marketers who converted his sermons to podcasts, set up blogs, and turned him into an influencer at warp speed.
The response exceeded their expectations and took on a life of its own. In the beginning, the work was fun and they delighted in the perks of their jobs, from access to the latest equipment, to global travel. As time went on and their maturity grew, they realized that the platform they were building was more about a man than God. Worse — people were making life decisions based on teachings that they helped disseminate.
The final straw came on a trip to Turkey to shoot a series on Ephesians. Driscoll booked his family in a lavish resort while the crew stayed at a run down, moldy hotel. When the pastor began teaching from Ephesians, one turned to the other saying: He’s talking about us right now. We are the Ephesians and we have walked away from our first love. This isn’t about God anymore, it’s about Mark.
The host of The Rise and Fall of Mars Hills church notes that narcissists are excellent at identifying people’s gifts and using them, right until the time people realize they are being used. At that point, the leader turns on them and casts them off.
This is the kind of scenario that played out with Amnon and Tamar. 2 Samuel 13 recounts the prince’s obsession with his half-sister. One of his friends devised a trick to lure her with a request for something to eat, claiming he was sick. Once inside his tent, he raped her. Verse 15 says “Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’”
No where in scripture is Tamar blamed for the attack. That said, we would be wise to learn from what the story teaches us about narcissism.
What can we take away?
- The same person who celebrates your gifts today can crush you tomorrow if you no longer serve their purpose.
- Watch for clues to people’s motives and patterns of behavior with the people they lead.
- If a leader questions your loyalty, you have the right to question whether you are being asked to be loyal to God or to a person.