Lessons in Redemption: Reflections on Scandal, Silence, and Finding Strength

Steve Carter arrived at megachurch Willow Creek outside of Chicago, unaware that he was about to step into the role of a lifetime. He was set to become the successor to a highly successful founding pastor who had led the church to unprecedented growth over the span of several decades. The founding pastor’s model of seeker-sensitive ministry had sparked a global movement. Little did Carter know that a compound scandal was on the verge of erupting, involving escalating allegations of sexual harassment and abuse, followed by a mishandled church investigation that put the entire leadership team’s credibility at risk. It was a narrative nobody wanted to accept as true.

Although Carter had no oversight over the investigation and lacked authority over the pastor, his actions during the challenging moments that ensued gave rise to a perception of guilt by association. During an interview with Carey Nieuwhof, Carter appeared on stage alongside the pastor and the elders as they downplayed the issue, even making an awkward joke that seemed dismissive. He failed to confront the discomfort by engaging in direct conversations with the women who had made accusations. Consequently, he lost credibility with the congregation, and coupled with a disagreement with the leadership team on how to proceed, he ultimately resigned. This led to an extended period of introspection and mourning. Retreating to the solitude of Arizona’s wilderness, Carter recognized that although he possessed the energy and determination to build the church, he needed to pause and cultivate his character.

Carter consciously refrained from participating in social media or responding to comment requests to avoid giving the impression that he was defending himself or attempting to portray himself as a hero. He regarded the brave women who came forward and raised their voices despite opposition as the true heroes. Through his time of reflection and struggle, he now possesses a profound understanding and inner strength.

The story of Tamar, the daughter of David, bears striking similarities to the experiences of the women Carter had once avoided. Tamar was ensnared and abused by her brother Amnon while those around him turned a blind eye, just as people within the accused pastor’s circle likely did. Similar to the initial response of the church board, David failed to deliver justice to Tamar. Subsequently, Tamar’s brother Absalom took matters into his own hands. The magnitude of betrayal Tamar must have endured parallels the anguish felt by the women whom Carter now recognizes as heroes.

Like Carter, we often find ourselves blinded by denial, unable to fathom that the unimaginable could be true. We shy away from uncomfortable conversations and avoid confronting pain directly.

What lessons can we draw from this?

If you have experienced abuse, reminiscent of Tamar’s ordeal, whether it was physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual, know that God sees your pain. Tamar’s story was included in the Bible for individuals like you. Your experiences are significant and should not be disregarded.

Perhaps, like Absalom, you have witnessed injustice but hesitated to speak up, all the while simmering with indignation. I urge you to seek the guidance of a counselor to process your emotions and determine a suitable course of action.

If, like Carter, you have come to realize that you have inadvertently minimized others’ pain, you may have been akin to David, silencing their stories and denying them justice. By embracing discomfort and actively listening without passing judgment, you can become an agent of peace.